Triggers and Phobias
Identifying Emotional Triggers & Phobias
One of the most empowering and effective things you can do if you want to thrive in this life (not just survive) after your abuse, is to identify what triggers your flashbacks and abuse-related emotions. It is a very empowering thing to know that something triggers certain emotions for you and then you decide if it is going to control you or not. If part of your recovery goal is to break free of old abuse bonds that are still controlling your life, then the exercise of identifying your triggers is important.
Your Unique Triggers
Now that you have a basic understanding of what triggers are, it is time to identify your own unique triggers and decide what you may want to do with this information. Knowing your triggers can help make your day-to-day life more pleasant and less traumatic. You don’t necessarily have to understand why a certain thing acts as a trigger for you. You don’t have to remember the incident or all of it for trigger identification to be a powerful form of therapy. Just try to remember times that your skin crawled or the hairs on the back of your neck stood up or you had a sickening feeling in your gut. There have been many times that I felt like lashing out at someone in complete rage, but there was no one around! I couldn’t figure out what had made me so angry. There have also been plenty of times that I just broke down and wept for no apparent reason. Believe me, when we feel this way, there is a reason, whether it is apparent or not. The next time you feel anything like this and it is not evident why, ask yourself these questions:
What were you doing at the time?
What were you looking at?
What were you smelling?
What were you tasting?
What were you hearing?
What were you touching?
What were you thinking about?
Write down the answers to these questions on paper. Even if the thoughts that popped into your head seemed odd or abstract, write down the first things that come to mind when you believe you experienced a trigger.
If you feel strong emotions upon awaking, ask yourself these same questions as it applies to any dreams you may have had.
(You may want to keep a note pad and pen with you and by your bedside, etc. so that you can write down events like this as they happen or after you dream about them.)
Use common sense when you think of your possible triggers. Obviously, there are times when emotions come up and the reason is apparent. Current emotions may be based on past experiences, but they may only have to do with the here and now. Think about the situation. Is there a fear or sense of loathing associated with the particular situation regardless of what is happening at the time? Triggers will usually conjure up an unpleasant emotion regardless of anything else. All other things being equal, you will still experience an unpleasant, intense emotion when exposed to one or more of your unique triggers. If you are in a great mood, the sun is shining, things are going your way and all of a sudden you experience an intense feeling of rage, fear, sadness or discomfort, chances are some thing has triggered these emotions. Try to nail it down.
Make a list of your possible triggers. It may help to divide them in to categories of abuse: physical, sexual and emotional/psychological abuse. Some triggers very obviously fall in to one of these categories. Others may overlap in to two or all three of them. Another way to categorize your triggers is by the sense the trigger affects: sight, sound, taste, smell, touch.
Try not to get bogged down with how you classify the abuse trigger during this exercise. What’s important is to realize what the trigger is and how you might react to it. Then, you can decide how you want to react to the trigger when it happens. It’s impossible to come up with a positive plan for dealing with these triggers if you do not understand what they are. Knowing what they are is the important thing to begin with.
Don’t worry if what you write would make sense to someone else or worry what someone else would think. Use the words that are meaningful to you. Don’t worry about using obscenities, correct spelling or grammar. This is not a creative writing exercise. It is a highly emotional therapy exercise that is for your eyes only. You do not need to share it with anyone else unless you believe that would be helpful to you.
Use as few or as many words as you need to describe the trigger. Since this list is for your eyes only, it doesn’t have to make sense to someone else. For example, the words “booze breath” would be all you need to write down to identify the fact that the smell of alcohol on someone’s breath is a trigger for you. If you feel more comfortable or empowered by going in to more detail, by all means do so. Please try to WRITE down the words. Writing is a very powerful form of therapy! The act of writing down the words can be very liberating. If you do not feel strong enough to write at this time, try speaking the words into a tape recorder or typing the words and saving the document on your computer. These can also be powerful tools. However, I strongly recommend coming back to this exercise when you are feeling up to it and physically writing the words later.
Try to get as specific as you can. Don’t be afraid to list more than one trigger for the same painful event. Refer to your five senses when identifying the triggers. Some triggers will be tactile in nature. Others may be smells, tastes or auditory triggers. Use as many words as necessary to adequately define specifically what your unique triggers are. Don’t be hard on yourself if you cannot pin point the exact triggers in one sitting of this exercise. That would be expecting a lot to sit down one time and get them all on paper. You may want to purchase a handheld tape recorder or keep a small pad of paper and pen or pencil in your purse, in your car, book bag or pocket. When you are alone or have a comfortable opportunity and a trigger comes to mind, write it down or record it. Come back to this exercise as many times as it takes.
Just write down the words that describe your trigger where you feel they fit best with your FIRST immediate impression. You can always go back and refine them later if you feel it is beneficial for you. The main thing is to get writing!
© 2006 Hope Forus All Rights Reserved
Hope Forus is not a medical or mental health professional. She is a survivor of childhood sexual, physical, emotional and ritualistic abuse. She is currently writing a book about her abuse, her healing journey and tips that have helped her during her PTSD recovery process. This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should not use the information in this article for diagnosing or treating a medical or mental health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. If at any time you feel the urge to hurt yourself or someone else as a result of emotions or reactions to any descriptions related herein, promptly contact your mental health provider, your local suicide prevention hotline or 911.
